10/25/2022 1:54pm

Today’s the day. I feel myself being close to equilibrium. Being on the road and living in a car with my beloved cat, Tsuwi, driving and exploring for almost half a year has now come to its conclusion. This trip came forth by a catalyst. A beautiful heart-cracking catalyst to re-calibrate, re-course, re-align my path. I asked and it was given.

I have contemplated long and hard before and during, if I should be documenting and writing about it. The urge didn’t come to me, my desire was to be fully present in the experience. I wasn’t in it to show anyone else, the full extent of it all, it was all for me, for Us. Mai & mai.

During those times, I felt cozy and safe in my thoughts and feelings. A Journey to truly know and understand myself & Self on a deeper level, and finding the sweet spot between introspection and expression, I felt like I found it. I no longer force, I feel, I Be, only then, I do. There certainly has been days where I felt to write and post while on the road, only then, I did.

I do what I want. I don’t do because I should. Fuck all the shoulds!!!! FUCK ALL THE FUCKING SHOULDS!!! (I verbally screamed just now. It feels so fucking good. It feels so freeing. I am free.)

With each heartache, with each redirection, with some days seeming like a fear-bender spree, with each diversion, I slowly learned to show up with full acceptance, and gratitude. I continue to learn that if something has to be forced, then it isn’t. Follow where the current is taking you, and there you will find clues to your treasure. Swim with the current, I see for me, that has been the way.

As I sit in my living room here now, somewhere in North Carolina, I have repurposed the modular “furniture” I had in the Subaru. They are 4pcs of wooden square milk crates that served as my closet/table/water shelf. I use them now as book shelves, with 2 stacked together, while the other two are being used as “legs” for a table, the table top is a cedar panel, which I will continue to describe. This shit excites me so much.

So the cedar panel! not only did it smell so fucking heavenly, it had served as my front porch table top as well as bed frame (to provide a flat firmer support under my bed combo; a Tatami mat, 0° sleeping bag, and a wool rug) to it now my coffee/dining/crafts table at this beautiful home I now find myself in.

I’m still sleeping in the same bed combo on the floor in my new home, and insects have been visiting (mostly crickets, beetles, a moth, and once a small gnarly looking fast centipede-looking thing which Tsuwi saved me from) which is fine. I happily manage until a raised bed comes into the picture.

My current living situation is what I’ve dreamt of and so much more, surrounded by Beauty, huge old trees, nice cozy weather, access to quality water and food source from nearby local small family farms, meat and veggies, milk and eggs, grass-fed and pasture-raised happy animals. Warm friendly people everywhere, with overlapping wavelengths. A slow quaint life. I’m now in it. I am so blessed to be guided here.

I trusted, I followed the clues, followed the feeling. I learned to be fluid, I learned to be open, being tested as I go, and I now find myself in a situation that was so much better than I ever imagined. Opportunities had opened up with such ease. I now get it, the numinous flow, this mysterious Cosmic flow they all speak of. I have goosebumps all over my body as I type this. I now have a much better Understanding, I continue to learn. Thank you Source. It is just the beginning. My body, I feel it tingling, for what is to come.

All is truly truly taken care of. That is pretty much the takeaway. The Creator calls from within, We listen, We dive into the unknown, We trust, We learn, We trust even more, We follow the feeling, We learn some more, We establish our personalized faith, however it looks like is different for everyone, We hone in, We Love, We take action, We listen some more, We stand still, We trust, We express in full, We see miracles happen on the daily. We see the Truth of Reality. All is taken care of, truly truly. And this Truth is not just for me, it is for you too, for You and I, it is for all of Us.

Love,

Mai & mai