Category: Uncategorized

Uncategorized/

An Emotional Manifestor (Human Design)

I’ve been experimenting with the Human Design system on and off for about 3 years. Initially, it was way too much info and jargon to wrap my mind around. And then in increments, I would get pulled back in. It would come up in conversation with a friend or I would run into a post and then it would remind me, perhaps something’s there for me. And whatever is happening in my life, an HD message finds me and helps me with a struggle, tremendously actually.

I get it now, I’m not supposed to get it all at once. I get more of it when I need, I dive in just a tad deeper each time, bit by bit.

Very recently, I had a major business related decision that needed to be made and although it didn’t go as planned, I actually felt that I made the right choice. Experimenting with my Emotional Authority as a Manifestor, and having to integrate that with my defined Spleen is hecka confusing yet it feels like home. I’ve always felt that I get intuitive hits yet I’ve also trusted my way of long introspection to make decisions. And it’s like, I ask “Do I trust my gut or do I trust my ability to really feel into something and have deep introspection before deciding?” it seems to me that I actually should be trusting both and if I am at peace and in a calm state and I need to make a decision, and the gut says yes or no, I better trust that shit. Now if I’m in an overly positive/negative state, then I should be sure to not make any decisions and wait it out. This is what I’m currently experimenting with.

The past months I’ve been practicing the strategy of Informing. Basically I just tell people that I am going to do something, I am not asking for permission nor for an opinion. Once I’ve decided to do something, idgaf and I will do it regardless of anyone’s 2 cents. Life-changing. Mostly when I get spikes of energy, I just let them know, I’m in my urge, let me be. Don’t ask questions, don’t look at me, just pretend that I don’t exist. I’m creating. Do not disturb is written on my forehead. And I land back down & need my snacks🥰. It’s been such a game changer operating this way. Both for me and people around me. Life’s way smoother. No longer staying small. I’m taking up my space. Get in or GTFO. 😘

Uncategorized/

Just Another Handful

It is normal for me to find things walking/hiking and if it’s visually edible in Mai standards, I will put them in my mouth, in small amounts, just to test out (still alive). I don’t have much knowledge about foraging out here as I’d like but it strongly interests me. Growing up in the tropics, it was normal to eat almost anything sprouting around as we had an abundance of wild deliciousness, all sorts of fruits and some veggies.

Moving out here, was quite an adjustment, yet I have carried the habit of still wanting to try out wild colorful whatnots, which usually end up in disappointment.

This tasting habit pervaded as I am stubborn, which naturally caused me to start getting familiarized with some local desert plants. When I first found a Manzanita plant while hiking many many years back, I had no idea what it was yet instinctively had the urge to taste the fruit, I was blown away! It was a first! A fruit found in the desert that actually tasted pretty damn good. So I did my little research. Then its medicinal properties, wow, it was such an eye opener. It allowed me to slowly feel rooted in the desert, the plants have introduced themselves and we’re starting to be friends.

This trial and error is what led me to other local plants such as the Creosote, Juniper, Mormon tea, Sagebrush, and Banana yucca. After some years of stumbling and fucking around this way, I finally recently decided to get myself a proper book to help me lol.

Recently, I was able to find two new wild desert snacks, the Pyracantha (red) and the Wild desert Fan Palm (purple black). The Pyracantha tasted equal parts sweetbittertart, while the Wild desert fan palm fruit tasted like honey, it’s so darn good! It has a tough texture, all there is to eat is the skin and the seed (you just suck on the teeny seed, maybe it can be roasted, I didn’t go that far) where both are basically coated with this thin layer of honey-like nectar. You would need two handfuls to get a snack satiation. Oh man my mouth is watering thinking about it, I will need to go back where I found it.

The green things and Mexican Buckeye pods are just nice and no snacking purpose that I know of. Mexican Buckeye may actually be poisonous.

Uncategorized/

Filipino Loves

These are the words I know for Love in Tagalog, the main Philippine dialect. I’ve also written in Baybayin (our dead ancient script)

5 words for Love… Isn’t that fascinating? And that’s just from one dialect. We have over 150 dialects spoken until today!! And it’s such a small country. It does make sense given there’s over 1,170 islands (and counting)

Errbody be doing their own thing that’s probably why, why they came up with their own dialects. 🧐💭

Uncategorized/

Meowson Jars

Playlists as Paintings

Meow. These containers, they’re all made up.Did I know, Yous? I never did. Never truly did. Does it matter? I didn’t know all of Mes. I know more of Mes, now. Meow. Some days feel best. Today’s not. Yesterday was. Today’s far from even second best. Meow. All in all it ain’t no thing. The thing is that it’s one of those things. Some things. Things come, then they goes. Meow. Like bubbles, they pop, leaving droplets of cold soapy goo. Then gone, forever. A best day is upon again. The bubbles then, one of Mes hoping, they forever gone. The other Mes? oh. Meow. I used to like bubbles. Though the cold soapy goo, me can’t keep up the clean up. Meow. I only know how to lick me. I can only lick me. You can lick yourself. Oh, one of those bubbles.. *POP*. Meow. 🐈

Uncategorized/

Humanical Orbs

External tools have helped me tremendously in understanding myself and just as important, in starting to understand others. I am not saying these modalities are of absolute truth or perhaps even true for anyone in any way(it’s actually repulsive for a chunk of the population) but it definitely served its purpose for me in integrating it into my toolkit of compassion and understanding.

Anything that helps to stretch my perspective is of value to me. We give things meaning and the meaning I give these tools have been more than supplemental to my understanding, and consequently, a higher expression of my inner knowing ✨

(There really be some people though that test the living shit outta you🤣 Adios. It’s nothing personal, just vibrational. Still all Love, always is, always will be ≋≋≋ ❥)

*ok I realized I used the word Understanding a million times in this caption. I can’t blame, it’s an ultra important word. To understand is to truly, truly, Love.

A great example is that understanding in itself, beats romantic love when it comes to sustaining deep intimate relationships. Love (romantic) alone cannot sustain a relationship, the lifetime bond type of relationship, the fulfilling kind, there’s just no way, and I’m speaking for only what I know and of my truth (learning this the hard way, but then again I don’t know if there’s an easy way to learn this lol. Going through is the only way out I guess).

Understanding, on the other hand can take you to the deepest places of intimacy, places you never knew existed. The deeper the understanding that is exchanged between beings, the stronger the foundation, the deeper the romantic love, then which forms into the higher Love, the unbreakable type of Divine Love, intertwined with another. I believe this is what marriage is supposed to be about, sacred.

From my seeking, this type of Love isn’t meant for everyone, my belief is that it’s not in everyone’s level of Journey and that’s ok, it means some of us are meant to learn other lessons in this lifetime. See yourself where you’re at and another will meet you exactly there. We only understand others in the same level we’ve understood ourselves, that echoed in my being.