Author: Mai

All is Taken Care Of

10/25/2022 1:54pm

Today’s the day. I feel myself being close to equilibrium. Being on the road and living in a car with my beloved cat, Tsuwi, driving and exploring for almost half a year has now come to its conclusion. This trip came forth by a catalyst. A beautiful heart-cracking catalyst to re-calibrate, re-course, re-align my path. I asked and it was given.

I have contemplated long and hard before and during, if I should be documenting and writing about it. The urge didn’t come to me, my desire was to be fully present in the experience. I wasn’t in it to show anyone else, the full extent of it all, it was all for me, for Us. Mai & mai.

During those times, I felt cozy and safe in my thoughts and feelings. A Journey to truly know and understand myself & Self on a deeper level, and finding the sweet spot between introspection and expression, I felt like I found it. I no longer force, I feel, I Be, only then, I do. There certainly has been days where I felt to write and post while on the road, only then, I did.

I do what I want. I don’t do because I should. Fuck all the shoulds!!!! FUCK ALL THE FUCKING SHOULDS!!! (I verbally screamed just now. It feels so fucking good. It feels so freeing. I am free.)

With each heartache, with each redirection, with some days seeming like a fear-bender spree, with each diversion, I slowly learned to show up with full acceptance, and gratitude. I continue to learn that if something has to be forced, then it isn’t. Follow where the current is taking you, and there you will find clues to your treasure. Swim with the current, I see for me, that has been the way.

As I sit in my living room here now, somewhere in North Carolina, I have repurposed the modular “furniture” I had in the Subaru. They are 4pcs of wooden square milk crates that served as my closet/table/water shelf. I use them now as book shelves, with 2 stacked together, while the other two are being used as “legs” for a table, the table top is a cedar panel, which I will continue to describe. This shit excites me so much.

So the cedar panel! not only did it smell so fucking heavenly, it had served as my front porch table top as well as bed frame (to provide a flat firmer support under my bed combo; a Tatami mat, 0° sleeping bag, and a wool rug) to it now my coffee/dining/crafts table at this beautiful home I now find myself in.

I’m still sleeping in the same bed combo on the floor in my new home, and insects have been visiting (mostly crickets, beetles, a moth, and once a small gnarly looking fast centipede-looking thing which Tsuwi saved me from) which is fine. I happily manage until a raised bed comes into the picture.

My current living situation is what I’ve dreamt of and so much more, surrounded by Beauty, huge old trees, nice cozy weather, access to quality water and food source from nearby local small family farms, meat and veggies, milk and eggs, grass-fed and pasture-raised happy animals. Warm friendly people everywhere, with overlapping wavelengths. A slow quaint life. I’m now in it. I am so blessed to be guided here.

I trusted, I followed the clues, followed the feeling. I learned to be fluid, I learned to be open, being tested as I go, and I now find myself in a situation that was so much better than I ever imagined. Opportunities had opened up with such ease. I now get it, the numinous flow, this mysterious Cosmic flow they all speak of. I have goosebumps all over my body as I type this. I now have a much better Understanding, I continue to learn. Thank you Source. It is just the beginning. My body, I feel it tingling, for what is to come.

All is truly truly taken care of. That is pretty much the takeaway. The Creator calls from within, We listen, We dive into the unknown, We trust, We learn, We trust even more, We follow the feeling, We learn some more, We establish our personalized faith, however it looks like is different for everyone, We hone in, We Love, We take action, We listen some more, We stand still, We trust, We express in full, We see miracles happen on the daily. We see the Truth of Reality. All is taken care of, truly truly. And this Truth is not just for me, it is for you too, for You and I, it is for all of Us.

Love,

Mai & mai

A Lie in Santa Fe

A lie.
One peace.
A happy?
A piece.
A tease. A lie.
I lie. I don’t. I lie.
To keep.
To please.
The peace.
My piece.
Of peace.

My peace. A lie.
It was. A lie.
No more.
May it.
May lies.
My lies.
May they.
Rest.
In peace.
🌹

The Cosmic Pendulums

Ayyy another piece for another playlist. Inspired by the Kingdom of Bamum, their written characters, pictographs, gives me a certain feeling and a whole lotta spark, I did myself staring for hours, dissecting strokes, and imagining the meaning, of what they represent. Then seeing their pre-colonial structures, wow. Hut castles!? So fascinating. I feel how their pictographs and their way of living all mends together, so beautifully.

———-

Back to the playlist.

As forces swing forth,
Back & forth, subtly setting into balance.
A reminder, that forces heed no time,
Balance comes as it should.
When it swings, it comes into motion.
These motions do not bow to anything, or anyone.
These forces just are,
And time is not of the essence.

Intro

Hey it’s Us. We’ve decided it would be fun to start this blog. I’ve realized that I’m too wordy for Instagram and the character limitations have been mostly annoying. I don’t really care if anyone sees this or not. I’m doing this purely for self-expression. I also like looking at beautiful things. Which is the main reason why I’ve had the energy all these years in up-keeping an Instagram account in the first place, it’s so awesome and fascinating to see what others are up to. The beauty it can portray, is just irresistible. But now I feel like it’s so saturated and I’m putting efforts in lessening my doomscrolling, which isn’t something I’d like to continue, my attention is better off elsewhere. So I’d like to extend what I have going on there to here. Here I have more freedom and fluidity, and less chance to doom scroll. I hate it so much.

So anyways, I’m wordy and have a high admiration for beautiful things. It felt right to start this, for me, and for no one else. I feel that I’m at THAT position in my life, this time is ripe for me to express my experiences, urges, thoughts, emotions and anything else that I do. In full expression and all my hues of being a human and all the beauty that this experience holds, in this lifetime. And if anyone finds this and it somehow helps, then that’s a huge bonus.

I look at the clock and it’s 3:33pm. Whatever that means, I’m still trying to figure out the direct translations of these for me. These numbers have been bombarding me for a couple of years. I’m sure there’s many of you that experience the same. The translations haven’t been so direct, but more so just the feeling, the feeling of peace and subtle bliss, the feeling that all is so darn good, all the darn time, even when something doesn’t feel good momentarily, to have a knowing that it truly is still goooood. And that’s what matters most for me.

So that’s it for my first post. I shall see where this journey takes me.

 

An Emotional Manifestor (Human Design)

I’ve been experimenting with the Human Design system on and off for about 3 years. Initially, it was way too much info and jargon to wrap my mind around. And then in increments, I would get pulled back in. It would come up in conversation with a friend or I would run into a post and then it would remind me, perhaps something’s there for me. And whatever is happening in my life, an HD message finds me and helps me with a struggle, tremendously actually.

I get it now, I’m not supposed to get it all at once. I get more of it when I need, I dive in just a tad deeper each time, bit by bit.

Very recently, I had a major business related decision that needed to be made and although it didn’t go as planned, I actually felt that I made the right choice. Experimenting with my Emotional Authority as a Manifestor, and having to integrate that with my defined Spleen is hecka confusing yet it feels like home. I’ve always felt that I get intuitive hits yet I’ve also trusted my way of long introspection to make decisions. And it’s like, I ask “Do I trust my gut or do I trust my ability to really feel into something and have deep introspection before deciding?” it seems to me that I actually should be trusting both and if I am at peace and in a calm state and I need to make a decision, and the gut says yes or no, I better trust that shit. Now if I’m in an overly positive/negative state, then I should be sure to not make any decisions and wait it out. This is what I’m currently experimenting with.

The past months I’ve been practicing the strategy of Informing. Basically I just tell people that I am going to do something, I am not asking for permission nor for an opinion. Once I’ve decided to do something, idgaf and I will do it regardless of anyone’s 2 cents. Life-changing. Mostly when I get spikes of energy, I just let them know, I’m in my urge, let me be. Don’t ask questions, don’t look at me, just pretend that I don’t exist. I’m creating. Do not disturb is written on my forehead. And I land back down & need my snacks🥰. It’s been such a game changer operating this way. Both for me and people around me. Life’s way smoother. No longer staying small. I’m taking up my space. Get in or GTFO. 😘

A Breathing Merkaba Co-Creation Necklace

This is a living Merkaba necklace, the wooden beads are colonized by mother mycelium of a mushroom. They’re the only ones of their kind. Beautiful specimens sprouted from play and curiosity.

By intermittent exposure to water, it revitalizes the mycelium each time.

It is also anti-microbial and anti-bacterial. It can withstand being exposed to soap, lotion, and perfume as it is the mother mycelium of the Oyster mushroom (Pleurotus ostreatus), a fungi used for mycoremediation (A form of bioremediation in which fungi-based remediation methods are used to decontaminate the environment)

I wear this for protection and manifestation. The way it’s shaped as a star tetrahedron aka Merkaba, directs energy points to multiple angles of our Universe and it being made of quartz, intensifies the energy points of your inner Beings’ focal point. This idea was inspired by channel Elena Daanan (Field Archaeologist in Egypt, Healer, Spiritual Practitioner, Author & Abductee) According to the Pleiadians guides, each person is to have a clear quartz merkaba on their person or in the household for protection and for clearer pathways of manifestation and telepathic communication.

I made one for myself which had sparked a lot of compliments and asks so I was called to make more. Here they are.

The Merkaba has been shared, taught and utilized for thousands of years by ancient civilizations within their spiritual practice, up until now. Every major spiritual system places ultimate power in it.

Some background, the word Mer Ka Ba is of ancient Egyptian origin. Similar to ancient Egyptian history, Merkaba is intriguing and has many esoteric layers. To put it simply, ‘Mer’ means a light that rotates within itself, ‘Ka’ means spirit, and ‘Ba’ means the physical body in which the spirit finds itself in its current incarnate form. ✨

Just Another Handful

It is normal for me to find things walking/hiking and if it’s visually edible in Mai standards, I will put them in my mouth, in small amounts, just to test out (still alive). I don’t have much knowledge about foraging out here as I’d like but it strongly interests me. Growing up in the tropics, it was normal to eat almost anything sprouting around as we had an abundance of wild deliciousness, all sorts of fruits and some veggies.

Moving out here, was quite an adjustment, yet I have carried the habit of still wanting to try out wild colorful whatnots, which usually end up in disappointment.

This tasting habit pervaded as I am stubborn, which naturally caused me to start getting familiarized with some local desert plants. When I first found a Manzanita plant while hiking many many years back, I had no idea what it was yet instinctively had the urge to taste the fruit, I was blown away! It was a first! A fruit found in the desert that actually tasted pretty damn good. So I did my little research. Then its medicinal properties, wow, it was such an eye opener. It allowed me to slowly feel rooted in the desert, the plants have introduced themselves and we’re starting to be friends.

This trial and error is what led me to other local plants such as the Creosote, Juniper, Mormon tea, Sagebrush, and Banana yucca. After some years of stumbling and fucking around this way, I finally recently decided to get myself a proper book to help me lol.

Recently, I was able to find two new wild desert snacks, the Pyracantha (red) and the Wild desert Fan Palm (purple black). The Pyracantha tasted equal parts sweetbittertart, while the Wild desert fan palm fruit tasted like honey, it’s so darn good! It has a tough texture, all there is to eat is the skin and the seed (you just suck on the teeny seed, maybe it can be roasted, I didn’t go that far) where both are basically coated with this thin layer of honey-like nectar. You would need two handfuls to get a snack satiation. Oh man my mouth is watering thinking about it, I will need to go back where I found it.

The green things and Mexican Buckeye pods are just nice and no snacking purpose that I know of. Mexican Buckeye may actually be poisonous.

Filipino Loves

These are the words I know for Love in Tagalog, the main Philippine dialect. I’ve also written in Baybayin (our dead ancient script)

5 words for Love… Isn’t that fascinating? And that’s just from one dialect. We have over 150 dialects spoken until today!! And it’s such a small country. It does make sense given there’s over 1,170 islands (and counting)

Errbody be doing their own thing that’s probably why, why they came up with their own dialects. 🧐💭

Meowson Jars

Meow. These containers, they’re all made up.Did I know, Yous? I never did. Never truly did. Does it matter? I didn’t know all of Mes. I know more of Mes, now. Meow. Some days feel best. Today’s not. Yesterday was. Today’s far from even second best. Meow. All in all it ain’t no thing. The thing is that it’s one of those things. Some things. Things come, then they goes. Meow. Like bubbles, they pop, leaving droplets of cold soapy goo. Then gone, forever. A best day is upon again. The bubbles then, one of Mes hoping, they forever gone. The other Mes? oh. Meow. I used to like bubbles. Though the cold soapy goo, me can’t keep up the clean up. Meow. I only know how to lick me. I can only lick me. You can lick yourself. Oh, one of those bubbles.. *POP*. Meow. 🐈

Humanical Orbs

External tools have helped me tremendously in understanding myself and just as important, in starting to understand others. I am not saying these modalities are of absolute truth or perhaps even true for anyone in any way(it’s actually repulsive for a chunk of the population) but it definitely served its purpose for me in integrating it into my toolkit of compassion and understanding.

Anything that helps to stretch my perspective is of value to me. We give things meaning and the meaning I give these tools have been more than supplemental to my understanding, and consequently, a higher expression of my inner knowing ✨

(There really be some people though that test the living shit outta you🤣 Adios. It’s nothing personal, just vibrational. Still all Love, always is, always will be ≋≋≋ ❥)

*ok I realized I used the word Understanding a million times in this caption. I can’t blame, it’s an ultra important word. To understand is to truly, truly, Love.

A great example is that understanding in itself, beats romantic love when it comes to sustaining deep intimate relationships. Love (romantic) alone cannot sustain a relationship, the lifetime bond type of relationship, the fulfilling kind, there’s just no way, and I’m speaking for only what I know and of my truth (learning this the hard way, but then again I don’t know if there’s an easy way to learn this lol. Going through is the only way out I guess).

Understanding, on the other hand can take you to the deepest places of intimacy, places you never knew existed. The deeper the understanding that is exchanged between beings, the stronger the foundation, the deeper the romantic love, then which forms into the higher Love, the unbreakable type of Divine Love, intertwined with another. I believe this is what marriage is supposed to be about, sacred.

From my seeking, this type of Love isn’t meant for everyone, my belief is that it’s not in everyone’s level of Journey and that’s ok, it means some of us are meant to learn other lessons in this lifetime. See yourself where you’re at and another will meet you exactly there. We only understand others in the same level we’ve understood ourselves, that echoed in my being.